fumblinglust's Diaryland Diary

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So Cold...

This is my first entry in my wee diary. Just got back from class (damn, it's late) and my apartment is sooo cold. Have to call the building manager in the AM. In a strange mood today. X-mas blues? Possibility. More than likely it's the fact that I haven't slept well in weeks. Can't take shiny, happy people this close to the holidays. So hard to suck it up and smile these days. X-mas blues? Possibility.

December Musings ~

I'm ill

My feet are cold

I am so alone

Up here

On my own

In the real world

Why can't the real world be more MTV?

Too bad MTV sucks

I like it here

But I hate what you've done to my heart

Should I hook up with the boy next door

Simply because he's there and willing?

What would that make me?

How soon can I get out?

How soon can I go home?

I cry

I cried a lot these past few days

Don't know why

X-mas fucking sucks

Everyone is out singing songs

Beaming with their cozy lovers

I am alone

I am so alone

Why is it that the only men interested in me

Have some defect only I can see?

The rejects of society come crawling at my feet

I want you to wait in the rain

With a bottle of wine

Wait for me to let you in downstairs

Wait for me

Wait for me

Be poetic

Be sarcastic

Be brooding

Be normal with a strange bent

Come soon

Cuz I am so alone

12:23 a.m. - 2001-12-14

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