fumblinglust's Diaryland Diary

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You Are Everything I Want, 'Cause You Are Everything I'm Not

You've got this new head filled up with smoke
I've got my veins all tangled close
To the jukebox bars you frequent
The safest place to hide

A long night spent with your most obvious weakness
You start shaking at the thought
you are everything I want
'Cause you are everything I'm not

And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close
(How close is close enough?)

We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close

I just wanna bring you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
I just wanna bring you down so badly
In the worst way

My inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit
In talks, it says, "You, oh, you are so cool."
Scissor shaped across the bed, you are red, violent red.
You hollow out my hungry eyes
You hollow out my hungry eyes

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I am so so tired. Emotionally. Physically.

I am a shell of a person crippled by fear.

Why I am so afraid, you ask? If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be alone tonight, and every night.

I refuse to let my life slip past me. The things that were meant for me. The looks that were suppossed to be in my direction.

I am so tired.

Why can't I be normal? My parents were married at my age. I'm still trying people on for size. Nothing fits right. Too constricting.

Why won't my phone ring, his voice- soft on the other end. Tender.

I refuse to let this one pass me by. Not this time.

11:31 p.m. - 2006-05-15

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